I want to make my mom proud
Hi everyone,
A difficult season for me is nearing the end. I am hoping the weekend in Budapest with bring moments of happiness, to help me put everything behind me.
Handball is the only thing on my mind right now. I am looking forward to being back at the FINAL4 – the crown of the season, only this time I want to win it with my friends from Buducnost.
Despite being 100% devoted to handball in recent days, I don’t run away from the problems I’ve had. I feel having the opportunity to tell someone about what happened makes me even stronger, so I take this opportunity, no matter how difficult it is.
Everything is still so fresh in my memory, and aches with every notion but I must remain strong. I feel the only way is to stay positive. I look at everything from a positive perspective, knowing handball is my way out.
Everything started with the great disappointment at the EURO in Croatia. I was in a state of shock for a while, but as soon as I have decided to turn the page and keep going, my mom got terribly ill.
It really shook my world and turned it upside down.
At that point I have felt the need to be with my family more than anything. We went through these difficult times together.
I don’t know what I would do without the support of my team, my friends in Podgorica and everyone at the club who gave me all the time I needed to do so.
Throughout fighting with my mom’s illness, I was amidst a personal crisis, going through some kind of denial. Upon accepting the inevitable faith, I took a leave of absence to spend my mom’s last 15 days alongside her, at home in Croatia.
Those were the toughest moments in my life. It’s so hard to accept everything that’s happened in such a short period of time. After 15 days away from the team, the friends that I love and sport that makes me fulfilled, I’ve felt it was time to move on – I have seen the sign.
Only a few of days after my mom’s passing, I was back, training in Podgorica.
I feel the city is my home away from home, as much as Buducnost is the club of my dreams.
Everything was still fresh, still hurting, but I have found the motivation in all that to keep on going. I knew there were a lot of challenges before us, and I wanted to be there for the team every step of the way. Furthermore, I wanted to do it for her.
All my closest friends were there for me. Kinga (Byzdra) Katarina Bulatovic, Milena Knezevic, Camilla Dalby, Clara (Woltering), Marina (Rajcic) to name a few. But in all honesty, the whole club was there to help me surpass that difficult period, and I am grateful for that – we breathe as one.
I feel like with all the misfortunes surrounding us – all the injuries and problems, the season must culminate into something very special. No one would be happier than me to lift the trophy in Budapest, as a sign of good things to come. We all live for that moment, my friends, my family, as well as myself.
It will give me special strength and courage knowing my brother and my fiancée will be in Budapest to support me going after this goal.
Whatever happens, I will cherish the memory of my mom and everything I do, I do for her. I know she is somewhere, watching over me, and I want to make her proud.
It is how it is. Whatever happens, you must stay positive.
Kind regards,
Marta
TEXT: Marta Zderic, Buducnost goalkeeper
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